Let's get the show on the road!

I didn’t think I’d be ever saying this, but miraculously we’ve made it to full term on the longest pregnancy known to man. Yeppers, you read that right. This baby could be born today and (crossing fingers) would go home with me tomorrow! But let’s not jump the gun here.

As a typical hormonal pregnant mommy, I’m actually feeling pretty darn emo. I guess when I went into labor at 23 weeks, I assumed that I would be meeting this bambino a lot sooner than now. The past 14 weeks have been rough. I’ve seen a 1.5 lb baby, and that’s rougher. The shots, bed rest, meds, compression stockings, dr. appointments every week, diet, inability to exercise, heartburn and nausea, 1000 daily contractions…they all did their best to bring us down. But God’s grace held us up. Our little family of 4 is stronger thanks to the presence of another human being who has yet to show his face.

So what’s next? I know it’ll be hard. The kids will be jealous and vying for my hugely sleep deprived attention. Our house will be in shambles and we’ll eat pizza every night. The TV will replace me on the floor, playing and breaking up fights over who gets which toy. Eli will come home after work to start his second job of picking up my slack. I’ll be sore, cranky and relearning how to nurse and get a baby to sleep. However, pulling together as a team, each one of us will learn how to adjust and enjoy the new family dynamic. Even though these are small sufferings, they'll still bring us closer to Christ. We look forward to giving more of ourselves and become servants, just as Jesus called us to do. Our kids are especially blessed because from such a young age they naturally learn the virtues--Faith, Hope, Charity, Fortitude, Justice, Temperance, Prudence.

Our latest sonogram measures the baby to be 7 lbs, and I’m fully effaced and dilated 2 cm. Let’s get this show on the road! We can't wait to meet you baby and find out if you're a boy or a girl. But baby, could you just wait until after this Thursday? We're a bit busy this week:)

Pregnancy Update

We have made it to 25 weeks! Three weeks past the scary false labor.

Since then I've been instructed to follow a modified bedrest plan, which basically allows me do anything sitting or laying down. No working out, no bending down, no lifting things heavier than a gallon of milk, and walking as needed. I have slowly started to regain my strength from slashing my super-active lifestyle to resting 24/7. Physically I feel better than before, but my emotions were totally battered. It was devastating to have such a change in routine, and the kids rebelled with all their might! My faith and relationships always strengthen during these life challenges. I have had to rely on Eli like never before, and he has stepped up like a champ. We've become rather resourceful when it comes to me continuing to run a household and raise children from a chair. It took awhile, but the kids have started to adjust to being at the house more and not being picked up all the time. Plus my sister comes over about 4 hours a week to help with chores that are too hard. We're going to get through this!

At last week's dr. appt, I took the fetal fibronectin test which checks to see if there are certain proteins present which indicate an increased risk for preterm labor. I've been having cramping, pressure, and tightening, and it's difficult to know if I'm actually in labor. The test came back negative, determining with 99% accuracy that for the next two weeks, I will not go into labor!! Yay! We also had a sonogram which showed that I am not dilating any more than at 23 wks. Negative tests results would have had me on bedrest perhaps in the hospital with steroid shots to strengthen the baby's lungs.

The next challenge is to keep the baby under 9 lbs. to avoid a c-section.

Thank you for the prayers...keep them up! We can't wait to meet this sweet tiny baby!

What I've learned while sitting on my bum!

I’m on day 7 of bedrest and I’ve been told that I can do a bit more walking around. So naturally I got out of the house lickety-split and headed to the gym. I know what you’re thinking. And no, I haven’t gone insane after a few days of cabin fever…well, at least not totally. We went to the little gym, of course! Did you think I’m that crazy that I’d actually be *that* anxious to return to my 6am routine on the treadmill?? (ok, ok I admit! I miss the treadmill *tear*)
Well for an hour my kids ran around like chickens with their heads cut off and I sat and moved nothing but my mouth. The energizer bunnies weren’t even phased. It was official. We needed chic-fil-a. They could jump and climb and run and scream for another 2 hours while I sat in the AC. Now that we’re home and Leo’s asleep and Emily’s having quiet time, I’m exhausted. SO exhausted. And I got to thinking.

What have I learned lately??

1. Resting makes you tired. Really. Really. Tired. I seriously did nothing but load kids in the car a couple times and sit without my legs propped, and I felt like I got hit by a truck. Resting to me is like making a wheelchair bound person run a marathon. How did I miss this memo?

2. My children are trying to kill each other. Is this normal? Every 30 seconds we have a mini-crisis because Leo pulled out a handful of Emily’s hair, or Emily pushed Leo off the couch and he nearly cracked open his head on the tile, or someone is hitting someone over the head with a skillet. All while I sit, and cringe, and feel desperately unhelpful. Let’s just say we’re still “adjusting.”

3. Half chewed spaghetti and moldy strawberries and dried up scrambled eggs remain under your child’s high chair until you clean it up. Someone forgot to queue the vortex which opens in the filthy floor and sucks away all the remains. Maybe we should get a dog.

4. I have ankles. I honestly darn near forgot that under all that swollen fleshy flesh is a pair of skinny bones which are called ankles. And I got to see mine today. Highlight of my week!

5. I had a heavenly idea of resting while watching my mild-mannered-sitdownski-children read, play puzzles, and have round the clock tea parties. I gloriously would catch up on my book club reading (Called to Loveàhighly recommend!), blogging, watching movies, etc. Basically go on vacation in order to keep this unborn child content with staying in the womb. Clearly I was on a different planet. Our household at the moment is most similar to that movie Animal House. I have yet to scratch one thing off that glorious list. But I did, more importantly, watch a tv show called Pregnant in Heels. Just when my self esteem and wallowing misery was at a high, this ridiculous show sent my ego soaring through the rafters. If you’re pregnant, do yourself a favor. Watch the show. You’ll feel a lot better about your life.

6. I have amazing friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to you all have prayed for us, cheered me on, made us meals, or let Leo hit your little girl a million times without passing judgment or killing him. And thank you Eli. You’re my boy, blue!

The 411

I’m not really the type to share these private details (mainly because I feel incredibly awkward when people give me sympathy), but most people just want to know what the heck’s goin on with my labor-happy body. So here’s the scoop.

The baby decided last night that he’d like a test-run at this whole labor thing. You see, he’s the super-excited-bounce-all-the-time type (so much that I’ve actually lost my dinner from his kicks) and he’d just like to go ahead and get the show on the road. Apparently he has an age complex too because he’s only 22 weeks old. After an hour of lightening-bolt contractions, I dropped the kids off at my wonderful amazing mom’s house and Eli and I headed to the hospital. Once I was in L&D, we were able to get those painful contractions under control, but it was followed by 5 hours of cramping and general baby flailing. The ultrasound showed no dilating, and eventually my blood pressure and temperature regulated. I spent the night without a husband, iphone, or toothbrush. ROUGH! Could you imagine not brushing your teeth at night? Tragic! J

What’s going on, and how are we gonna fix it?
I delivered Emily at 27 weeks because my water broke. This situation is different. Contractions could be caused by many things, and in my case it’s most likely due to my low progesterone levels which are tested weekly. Progesterone is a hormone that naturally drops dramatically right before delivery. I’ve been taking progesterone by pill and injection in hopes that we can keep the level high until the time is right.
Contractions could also be caused by over-exertion. Even though I HATE to admit it, (read: hate hate hate hate hate), I’m sure that I over work myself. Solution: bed-rest.

How are you going to take care of your kids? Your house? Wont you go crazy?
Let’s take this one day at a time. Eli and I know that there are times in a marriage that one person has to pull more weight. Since I’m a full-time incubator, he’s keeping house after work. The kids will learn how to deal. I have my parents and sisters who will get me through. We’ll figure it out. I’m sure we’ll all go crazy, but at the end, hopefully we’ll have the most amazing prize!

What can I do?
Pray. 24 weeks gestation is when a baby can survive. 28 weeks is even better because the baby wont have as many lasting health conditions. Ask God to give us strength and to allow the pregnancy to last 40 weeks--until September.
Be a cheerleader. Tell me I’ve got this in the bag.
Remind me that Leo went to 39 weeks and almost 9 lbs.
Remind me that Emily is beautiful, happy, and completely healthy.
Share your love with Eli. He’s so often working behind the scenes and needs equal moral support.
If you were on bedrest with a toddler and a preschooler, share your tips.

I’ll keep you posted.

Love at First Sight

Although a pregnancy can be a very long 280 days, there are a couple days of peak excitement. The day you take the positive pregnancy test is awesome, regardless of whether you *know* already. We took our test around the first week of January. I was feeling totally and completely exhausted, and thought to myself that if I wasn't pregnant, then I was probably dying. So when Eli walked through the door at 5:30 and I was laying on the couch with the kids bouncing off the walls, he turned right around and headed to CVS. The test takes about 2 minutes to show the results. I excitedly held the stick and walked to Eli when all of a sudden Emily grabbed the test right out of my hand. I was so grouchy and snapped at her--she crumbled, needing attention, knowing something important was going on. As I pulled the stick out of her hands, we could see those 8 letters. PREGNANT. All 4 of us hugged and jumped up and down and went a little nuts. The kids had no idea what was going on, but they were happy nonetheless. At that very instant, we knew our lives were going to change. We knew there is no better gift than a new child. We knew that I was now carrying a tiny little soul made from scratch by God.

The next exciting day came at 7 weeks...the first ultrasound. I asked my mom to watch the kids after coming home from school. I was paranoid that she knew, as it was a rarity for her to babysit on a weekday. Sitting in the waiting room was nerve racking. What if there's something wrong? What if they can't find a heartbeat?? What if it's twins??? But then I saw him (or her). A tiny little body that really looked more like a sea horse. The technician didn't have to tell me about the flicker on the screen--I knew it was a heartbeat: a strong one. A life. A beautiful blessing. Absolute love at first sight. We wanted to literally shout from the rooftops! We couldn't wait to share the great news with family, friends, the checkout girl at HEB, the teller at the bank...anyone with ears. Valentine's Day rolled around and Emily began work on her cards. Talk about a huge production! Glitter can keep this kid busy for a.long.time. She glued a brother-sister picture to the front and the sonogram to the inside. Here's her cute announcement to my mom.



The most recent excitement was our 20 week ultrasound. Since Leo was a high risk pregnancy, I had an ultrasound each week and slowly saw him grow. I was blown away by how big this baby has gotten! It feels like the past 13 weeks have just FLEW by. Our little love nugget has fingers...and toes...and long legs...and sucks his thumb...and punched the sonogram probe each time the technician pushed my tummy...and is about 1 lb. 10 oz! That's more than our tiny Emily weighed her first week of life! He was super wiggly and we couldn't get a good still shot or a profile pic, but we still love him. Here's his (and when I say "his", I really mean or "her") most recent picture. To the left is a head shot and the right are his 2 tiny feet. Hopefully he can bake another 20 weeks and get nice and chubby :)

Random Pregnancy Thoughts

#1. I feel so round! I've heard tons of complaining preggo ladies saying "there's just no more room for the baby to grow". Now, I didn't think I'd ever make it to 32 weeks, which means less 2 months left. But, that also means 2 months for this child to get bigger. A few weeks ago he measured almost 4 lbs., so basically the little squish is going to be a lot more squishy than Emily ever was in her life! How on earth is this going to fit?? If I can't breathe or sleep now, I guess God is just preparing me for 2 kids under 2.

#2 Eli has been indulging my nesting impulses patiently, which I have zero physical energy to fulfill. The biggest task has been to rearrange clothes and pack them up for the storage unit to make room for a whole other person to be living in our bedroom along with Emily. Millions of things to do, and we're running out of time. Where the heck is the cradle? How do I find that double stroller which a baby carrier snaps into? Where is the newborn box holding hopefully gender neutral blankets and clothes? Which type of sling is most comfortable for a baby who may spend a good amount of the day with me bending down? I need to order tiny cloth diapers! More importantly I need to take this one day at a time and continue to pray for grace.

#3 I'm worried about scamming Emily. I know it'll be good for her not to be the constant center of attention or to be constantly entertained. The problem boils down to the fact that I'm not really sure what kind or attention this baby will need. If you remember back to the newborn days of Emily, her eating pattern was 15 minutes on, 15 minutes off, 24 hours a day. Praise the Lord that didn't last more than a few months. I already know that this baby will be different...but I guess it'll take actually being with both kiddies to know how to help/enjoy/love/teach both on a daily basis.

(baking a cake for Nana's 50th...very sneaky girl!)

#4 My unfinished sewing and knitting projects are nothing but depressing to me! Off I go to try to make a dent while Emily is still napping...

TGIF! Enjoy your weekend:)

To Dallas and Back

Our Dallas trip was just too short! We drove in Thursday night for Eli's conference on Friday and basically still don't understand why Emily cries/whines the whole way. I guess that never stops us though and we try to make her as comfortable as possible! On Friday Emily and I snuck off to meet up with our friends Rebecca and Sophia. Rebecca was looking great, despite being 40 weeks pregnant! The girls had a lot of fun and we were able to just kind of sit back and relax while they played. That evening we had dinner with my sisters Mary Clare and Lauren at my favorite BBQ place...yes, the pregnancy cravings definitely crept in that weekend! Emily had a grand ol time running around the whole restaurant like a chicken with his head cut off. God bless Eli for chasing her, and thanks to the wait staff for humoring us. That night I enjoyed some quiet time in the hotel while Eli went out with some of his coworkers who were also there for the conference.

Reading the extended version of Emily's favorite "The Foot Book"

Obsessed with croissants!

Saturday we headed over to Eli's sister Teresa's house for a beautiful breakfast along with Eli's Aunt Joan and her family. Emily really loves her cousin Aidan, who is almost 1 year old and starting to cruise around the house. He's so funny to watch! After Emily napped at Lauren's, we went to confession at UD to take advantage of the plenary indulgences of Devine Mercy Sunday. Lazy Faire and Mallapalooza were going on too, so we hung around as long as Emily let us and then hit the road back home.

Cuddly girl after a nap

The rest of the week so far has been pretty usual. On Monday I saw my OBGYN who says that only now am I 27 weeks, and that the baby is just measuring a week or two bigger than that. I had a bad experience with the glucose test to test for gestational diabetes and have to go back on Thursday again. The test requires you to fast beforehand, and even though I got to the office early, they were too busy to test me in time for the glucose to take effect, so by the time I left at 3pm I thought I was going to faint and die. Looking back, I shouldn't have driven home, but had a huge binge as soon as I hit the front door. Thank goodness my mom could watch Emily...I think I would have lost it!!!

We tried out the pool yesterday and I'm extremely relieved to say that Emily is officially scared of the water. It was pretty cold, and she didnt want to get in, and she was terrified everytime Eli would go under. This was perfect because she's so fast that I thought she would definitely learn to open the door and run out and jump. So today I'm going out there again...just to sit and relax and have some peace of mind! :)

27 weeks and going strong

Sorry...this apparently didn't post last week like I thought it did...

Well we made it! After seeing the Perinatologist yesterday, I'm 27 weeks pregnant and wont be delivering anytime soon! The doctor did an ultrasound to measure the cervix and there are no signs of oncoming labor. Since I have seen her every month, she'll hopefully be able to tell if there are complications early and administer the steroid shots to strengthen the baby's lungs if need be. Eli is still giving me my progesterone shots weekly (God bless him!!!) and apparently they're working...which is great because those suckers hurt all the way up until the next week's shot. It's kind of cool now knowing exactly what my baby looks like inside, since we saw Emily develop on the outside when she was born at 27 weeks. We still don't know the gender and are keeping the names a secret...but I will say that the names we chose are after great saints! This little squirmy wormy should get nice and fat and stay in the oven until mid July.

Emily is keeping very busy and is ready to go swimming in my parents pool. San Antonio heats up really fast in the summer so I'm trying to keep her entertained outdoors while the weather is still nice. Today we went downtown to mass at St. Joseph's, a beautiful old German church, but it was closed because of carpet installation. Disappointed, we walked down to grab some lunch and take it down to the Alamo where tons of people dressed patriotically for the Tea Party! Emily just sat in her stroller watching all the commotion while I ate my lunch (this is an extreme rarity...she is notorious for leaning so far forward in her stroller that it tips over...like every toddler I'm sure). Afterwards we went to the zoo--it's a fabulous 75 degrees and breezy day--for a few hours. I love our membership pass because I can go once a week until I get too tired, and not feel guilty about never seeing the whole zoo at once.

Eli and I are in the swing of San Antonio life. Eli's job is going great and his calendar is pretty stacked with projects and such. It's so nice to have him come home for lunch and have his help after work!!!! I don't know how we did it back then when he left at 7am and wasn't available until 11 each night because of grad school. Poor guy, but now he's getting in his relaxation time before the new baby comes. I'm feeling a lot better physically than I had been the first 5 months of this pregnancy. Even though I'm much more exhausted and rarely get to sit down, I really feel like God is giving me a lot of grace to stay positive and gracious. I'm able to take Emily to mass everyday and I'm trying to grow deeper in my faith life. Eli and I have joined a church ministry called Covenant of Love, a Catholic marriage enrichment program which focuses on ways to strengthen your relationship with each other and allow your marriage to be more Christ centered. Recently we've been working very hard on our budget for the year so that we can hopefully buy a house by December. We follow Dave Ramsey's total money makeover baby steps, and are almost completely out of debt (from medical bills)!!! We are pretty good savers and always try to keep the virtue of temperance in mind. So keep us in your prayers! And pray that we'll find a house close to where we live now!

Easter was great and I'll be posting about that next along with some pictures. We're headed to Dallas tomorrow for Eli's conference so I'm about 5 loads of laundry behind:) Dying easter eggs

Pooped out after Easter mass

Sleeping with her baby

Wearing the bunny ears from Danze grandparents

Rock-a-bye Baby

I think Emily is ready to be a big sister! She still loves carrying around her baby, and now she pretends to rock her side to side and sings "rock-a-bye baby." It's pretty amazing how many cute ideas she has that she comes up with entirely on her own. We spend the majority of our time at home outside (we missed out on that in our apartment!!). Thank goodness there are such things as swings and sand boxes, but Emily mainly likes to tote around as many different types of balls that she can find. I have to admit, it's pretty hilarious seeing a 2 ft child carrying around a basketball all day! She recently has started to like play dough and bubbles more, which is a great activity for the back porch. We really try to keep her as busy as possible so she'll take better naps--we moved her bedtime to 8pm (from 7) and I'm just desperate for her to learn how to take a nap longer than an hour before the baby arrives! :)
All is well with the pregnancy so far. We had yet another scare last week with a possible bacterial infection that leads very quickly to infecting the amniotic sac, which would cause my water to break suddenly. I have to be very aware of every little change, since we never figured out why my water broke early with Emily. Unfortunately with a whole new set of doctors combined with my medical records from 5 different locations still missing (grrr), it's very difficult to be taken seriously rather than taken for just a crazy worried pregnant lady. Nevertheless I continue to feel the baby kick all the time and am growing quite round, and trying to be more restful! I've started new sewing and knitting projects that hopefully can be completed before the end of the decade.
We've been so lucky to have many visitors to San Antonio! After my family was gone for a week and it rained everyday, Emily and I were having extreme cabin fever. And nothing cheers me up more than old friends from Dallas! Also we met some new families at a UD alumni picnic this past weekend and are excited to hang out with them soon.
And the most exciting news is that I have a new cousin! Theodore Augustine Fagan was born on March 17th, weighing 9 lbs. 5 oz., and is the 32nd Fagan grandchild! He looks just like his brother Colman and so far is eating and sleeping great. I wish I took my camera with me when I went to visit!!
This week we've got the usual bible study, story time and zoo planned, but we're also going to Austin! We've been dying to go for so long but haven't been able to make it work, so we can't wait to see the Danze families:)

The most beautiful time in San Antonio

Life with a toddler is very entertaining to say the least! Emily has really blossomed in San Antonio and is far from the baby she used to be in Dallas. I think she was putting so much effort into learning how to walk that her verbal and comprehension skills were on hold. Today she can understand a lot of basic commands (drink your milk, sit down, etc.) and selectively ignores others (don't eat dog food, don't climb on the table, etc.). Her vocabulary is starting to form, and she learns about one word a week--pretty darn good for a preemie! Our temporary home is tons bigger than our old tiny apartment and is far from baby-proofed, so she has a lot of fun getting into everything all day long. Unfortunately that means that I rarely sit down, but hopefully Emily will begin to learn a little discipline:) We had our 20 week ultrasound with the perinatologist a few weeks ago and I was amazed at how much this baby was moving. We could barely get any measurements (and I couldnt get any good pics) because for the full 30 minutes he flipped frontwards and backwards. I say "he" in the generic term because we are hoping not to find out the gender. When we finally got a headshot from a birdseye view, we could see his little ears sticking out:) I've started to receive weekly shots of progesterone as a preventative measure against preterm labor. The shots are not a guarantee, but we'll do anything we can to go the full 40 weeks. Please keep us in your prayers! More than ever now I'm starting to feel the "ok-i-think-i'm-in-labor" with back pain and contractions, but after seeing my obgyn yesterday, she assured me that for right now, everything looks fine. I'm trying to take it easy but am finding myself a little crazy at the end of the day if I dont get out of the house. This month has really flown by while we made it our goal to enjoy some of the wonderful things about San Antonio while spring has sprung! Emily and I have been to the zoo a few times with family and with our new friends Nicole and Lucy (10 mo.) Downtown at San Fernando cathedral we had a special blessing by Archbishop Gomez for Emily and the new baby. We've been to Austin a few times to see Eli's family, and they came down to the zoo once too! One weekend we visited Dallas, which just made me really sad that I don't have my friends and 2 sisters nearby anymore. Emily had a lot of fun playing with her baby friends Caroline and Sophia. Here in San Antonio we're trying to meet new people, but I've found that it's a lot harder than I thought. I guess it may be because most 24 year olds are not married with a toddler and pregnant with their 2nd baby. But nevertheless we will continue to thank God a million times a day for His blessings! We'll post pics soon...just put a new album up on facebook!

November News

Well I'm back after temporarily falling off the face of the planet. Since Emily's surgery, Eli and I have barely had a chance to stop and catch our breath! There are so many updates in our family...so here we go!

The most exciting news is that we're expecting another baby! After a scary 3 month preterm labor and a difficult 6 month recovery, Eli and I were told that we probably wouldn't be having kids for awhile, which is always disheartening. So by the grace of God I'm carrying a kidney bean sized baby due on July 18th. I have a feeling it's a boy because I am just sick as a dog everyday. We had our first ultrasound and everything looks good...and we're hoping to go past 6 months this time around!

Emily is doing very well as always. The scar on her arm is healing nicely, but her hand is pretty infected. We've been keeping it wrapped and it looks like it's starting to heal. We also had the formal physical therapy assessment to figure out if Emily still needs services each week. A team came out to our house for a few hours and ran a battery of tests to assess her skill levels, and socially, cognitively, and emotionally she's caught up to a 15 month level. Language and motor skills are still delayed, but the possibility of cerebral palsy has been dismissed...yay! She can almost walk and I predict that she may be saving it for a christmas present:) She weighs 17lbs and measures 28" (which puts her on the chart at 5% for height for the first time!!)

Eli graduated with his MBA this past weekend. We are so proud of him! We've spent a lot of time with his family lately--a few days after visiting the Harkins for Thanksgiving, Philip's 50th, and the Lemieux's Christmas Party.

And lastly, we're moving to San Antonio on Saturday. Eli's job is set up, we've got a place to stay, and now we're just trying to get there. As you can imagine, packing has been a lot more difficult with our little helper and her obsession with unpacking. She'll definitely come in handy later on! Also this darn morning--more like evening--sickness has left me pretty much unable to help after 7pm (which is really when it all gets started!), so Eli can take credit for most of the work! We are just about drowning here trying to get everything done in the next 3 days...but it will get done and soon we'll be enjoying the Christmas season without a care in the world!!