Terrific Two's

The first year of a child is a constant whirlwind of changes and milestones. As new parents, your entire world has been flipped upside down and you begin to obsess over how much or little your 10 lb. chub eats or sleeps. Over time, the sweetness develops some kind of sleep pattern, and you sigh with relief after crossing the first hurdle of parenthood. Whew, you think to yourself, thank goodness I'm such a great parent and totally have this new baby thing under control. With each new challenge mastered, you pat yourself on the back and march forward with your chin up. Each new milestone is documented with 127 pictures and carefully marked in the baby book. When Emily first rolled over at 8 months, I called my parents so excitedly that they thought we won the lottery. All of the hours reading child development books have paid off!

But then, something very strange happens:

The age of 2.

You see, kids are smart and they've heard about the infamous terrible twos, and they know they have to bring their A-game. They don't mess around. There's only 365 days to live up to this terrible two phenomenon, and boy are they going to live it up.

It's all gotta start somewhere. They make one sly move of independence just to catch their parent off guard, and then BAM! It's on.

When Emily turned two, she got lucky. Eli and I were drowning in a pool of new baby Leo plus buying our first money-pit (errr...house) Nothing quite says "now is the time to make my 2 year old debut" as 2 adults running around like chickens with their heads chopped off.

So wouldn't you know, Emily took charge of her life on August 11, 2009. That night, she decided that she was just flat out too old to sleep in a crib. In fact, she's too old to sleep period. Absolutely no naps ever again. And while she was thinking about it, she decided to refuse the high chair too. And sippy cup. She was on a roll. No more diapers. She'd rip that sucker off with disgust. "I dooooo eeet" was her favorite phrase.

Have you ever met a 2 year old? She weighed about 20 lbs and couldn't reach the door handle. I'll show her who's boss, I thought. I'll whip her into shape in 5 seconds flat.

At least, that was the plan.

The next 2 years were slightly a blur.

Leo's 2nd birthday brought the gift of stubbornness. He's slowly unwrapping it, savoring each moment. You see, he has an older sister who's still hanging onto that 2 year old gift of stubbornness, and she's about to be 4. So he's got plenty of time to use it up and wear it out.

Looking back on pictures, I have to tell you the truth. I'm a bit scared of the future. 3 kids, 4 and under. We're definitely outnumbered now. However, there will come a day when Emily will harness this fortitude and perseverance into something positive. And absolutely nothing will stand in her way. So watch out world!

Here's a look back at some of Emily's favorite ways to assert her independence and creativity:

The facial.
We'd had a long summer of applying sunblock, and by then it was just second nature to rub something all over your face. Nevermind if it was lotion, mayonnaise, glue, or diaper rash cream.







The Sneakout.
Remember how Emily liked to protest cribs and naps? We'll just skip the part about her extreme sleep issues all together and look at these cute pictures. Even as an almost 4 yr old she still fights sleep with all her little might and continues to be an insomniac. I'd go to her room in the middle of the night and discover her missing, panic, then find her sleeping under a chair or on a shelf.
Or on the cold tile floor.


The Robbery
We finally drew the line on the pacifier when we realized, hey! You're completely potty trained...you're too old for this! Then commenced the frequent sneak into baby brother's crib and take the paci right out of his warm mouth.


The Baglady
This phase followed an intense basket-lady period wherein an urge to clean turned into hording and clearing out drawers and cabinets compulsively. Personally, I loved all the time spent working diligently to fill the laundry baskets. If ever a friend or family member gave me the "I'm in the neighborhood and would love to swing by and see your new house" I'd put her to work. Not so handy if you're looking for your toothbrush or keys or clean underwear and need to sift through 10 bags real quick.


As you can see, Leo has some very large 2 year old shoes to fill. He's not quite as willful as his sister, but he's a boy. And I hear that's a whole different ballgame. Wish me luck!

The newest obsession

What is it about the most hazardous things that make them so darn fun?

Toilets? Yay! Power drills? Yippee! Outlets? Hooray!



Balloons: super-fun-but-super-dangerous.

Who knew two preschoolers could have such a ridiculously great time. Over the weekend the kids each got a balloon from a little friend's birthday party. They squealed and ran around like chickens with their heads cut off, as if these were the last balloons on the face of the planet. That was fun to watch. Pure joy.

Once we got home, they were still excited. And that's when they began the "drag your chairs around the house to retrieve the balloon which flew away" game.



About 4 hours later, mean 'ol mom ended the beloved game when things got a little out of hand.



Emily pouted quite a bit before deciding it appropriate to use the balloon string tied around Leo's precious little neck as a leash.

Mommy soon decided that the balloons needed a little rest and the kids could color picture of balloons instead. This did not go over as well as I would have liked:) I think I know what they'll be getting for their birthdays this year.

Disclaimer: No adorable rascals were hurt during this fun-fest.

Crying over spilled milk

We're having a big problem over here. Now you're going to read this and just laugh, but I am seriously at the end of the rope. Emily throws her food and milk on the floor. We're not talking once a day, or even twice a day, but at least 5-10 times a day. Who cares, right? Just clean up the mess and move on. This is what I've been telling myself every day of this year. I've always embraced suffering as a essential part of daily life that brings me closer to Christ. But I've had enough. I feel like I've tried everything. Timeout 20 times a day. Ignoring her. Raising my voice. Letting her choose when she wants her milk and then taking it right back. Disapproving looks. Making her clean up the mess. Pretending to cry (there may have been real tears!). The list goes on and on. Obviously this child needs nutrition, and I wish I could say that she's spoiled rotten and eats cake and soda all day and that's the cause of the refusal of the healthy food. Obviously this child doesn't want to sit in her highchair, and I wish I could ignore the very strict "eat at the table" rule at this house. Obviously this child doesn't understand the meaning of no or whatever we tell her all day in timeout, and I wish her speech therapist who comes once a week could magically make her comprehend and speak. I need help. I have mopped the floor literally 7000 times in 2 months. Every single sippy cup has broken. I'm too pregnant to do this. If you have any ideas, please post a comment!!! If not...just pray for my sanity:) I'm about to board the crazy-train.